Monday, August 4, 2008

"When his friends asked him how many women he had had in his life, he would try to evade the question, and when they pressed him further he would say, "Well, two hundred, give or take a few." The envous among them accused him of stretching the truth. "That's not so many," he said by way of self-defense. "I've been involved with women for about twenty-five years now. Divide two hundred by twenty-five and you'll see it comes out to only eight or so new women a year. That's not so many, is it?"
-The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Kundera)


I started re-reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being a few days ago. And considering all the emo shit in that book and the fact that my first tattoo was taken from it, you may be wondering how any reference to the book could possibly fall under the heading of anti-feeling.

Well if youv'e read the book you know that with the exception of his relationship with Tereza Tomas is a prime example of the anti-feeling male (the epic womanizer). The only woman other than Tereza who he truly had feelings for was Sabina and in a way she was also a very anti-feelings kinda girl.

Which brings me to my point, I think after the individual has mastered his/her own anti-feeling-ness the next step (unless you've achieved the ultimate anti-feeling which results in asexuality and only a very lucky few will get that far) is to pair up with someone who can handle an anti-feeling relationship.

I suggest Tomas' basic rules for romantic encounters be used as a rough draft for such a relationship. That are two options that each work on a simple rule of three: (1) each romantic encounter must be spaced out by a time period of three weeks. Or (2) if you choice to have successive encounters with a partner without waiting three weeks between each encounter you can only sleep with that partner three times and then never see them again.

Any approach toward an anti-feeling relationship that does not maintain some level of loyalty to these rules (I guess there's a little room for individuals to work out something that works specifically for them, but I warn you to be careful) will ultimately result in failure. Feelings with ensue and disappointment will undoubtedly follow.


-Lamon

2 comments:

kels said...

that my be one of the best descriptors of a non-relationship relationship i've ever heard. thanks for making my brain happy.

Unknown said...

i think iread that book a long time ago. if i like someone enough to sleep with them, even just based on shallow attraction, it'd be hard to follow those rules. i guess that's why i get beat up by my feelings all the dang time, and especially it's easy to get strangled by other peeps' feelings even if you think you're cool as a cuke.