not divisble by the number 3

i am cringing at this conversation had before and how i will carefully select my words to mask how i really feel, so you don't hate me, not yet. nope, you're still an in between to some settlement that'll make everyone more comfortable, me included... but, i'm holding out. and doing a decent job, i should add.

but, he'd know that i am somewhat of a silly girl, and realize that i've been with the in betweens so long that i've neglected genius and madness and settled into tv watching and gossip. no, not settled, not quite yet...

having feelings for a dead man that hated things not divisible by the number 3 surely seems to be a recipe for dying alone.

this was my bathroom reading as a child

Aside from the need to breathe, feed and procreate the most common thing we (individuals, groups, communities, nations, etc.) share is a fundamental disrespect and lack of consideration for women as human beings and not vessels of temptation and ruin.

Anti-Feelings Campaign.

7:22am

each morning, save the ones i spend in her bed, i watch the ceiling fan turn hoping to find something hypnotic, calming in its autonomy. but it never comes. it's just alternating space and dust-covered wood moving through the thick humidity of this makeshift bedroom. save the days i've been lucky enough to share a bed with alternating hers, i've been sleeping on this couch for far too long. my throat is hot and most mornings feel like summer, just the parts i hate most about summer. i am not enough water and too many words, wishing your hands were here to run over. the world tells me i think too much, about you and it, and sometimes i agree but never in the morning. in the morning i just want your hands here. your fingers wrapped around which ever thumb of mine you like best, tightening vice as you fall into sleep. in the morning i am too honest to pretend that every story isn't somehow rooted in love. i am too honest to write about the world when all i want are your hands. one on my chest, fingertips grazing carrion, and the other fixed 'round which ever thumb of mine you like best.

-lamon