Thursday, September 25, 2008

my bus almost hit a guy on a motorcycle this morning. we were turning the corner and the guy was coasting along a little less than half a block away by the time the bus was starting the turn. the guy turned and made a face at someone or something on the sidewalk, but kept coasting without watching the road. that's when the bus driver finally saw him and was able to stop and swurve just enough to miss him. that finally got the guy's attention and he swurved the other way a couple feet, but pretty much just coasted. then he stopped at the light and kinda smiled. fucking idiot. as the bus came to a quick stop i think someone standing in the front was thrown a few feet, but nobody was really hurt. the bus driver kept apologizing for the whole thing as we drove through the next few stops.

on the train i overheard these three boys talking about which guns they wanted to buy. two of them were a little older than the third. my guess is the older kids were about 12 and the younger boy was about 8. one kid was very fixated on one day owning a desert eagle. he really liked the fact that they left such large holes in people as the bullets exited. another kid wanted a "38 special" and hollow tips. those were the two older kids. the younger boy was mostly asking questions and trying his best to keep up with the conversation. then they started to talk about the different people they knew who had been shot and played a guessing game of what they were shot with based on the shape and size of their wounds.

all this before 8:45 in the morning. the world does not wait for you to prepare yourself before it stands up and proudly presents how fucked up it is.

-lamon

Sunday, September 21, 2008

despite the fact that i have absolutely no intention of putting a baby in *anyone anytime soon, or ever, i think i have decided that i'm only interested in women who inspire my brain to form the phrase "i'd put a baby in her" without me consciously choosing to think it.

does that make sense?





* - the one (current) exception of course being shannyn sossamon. i'll probably be faux-enthralled with someone new in a month.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

ex-girlfriend haiku

yes, i want to know
if the sex is better, but
only if it's not.


-lfm

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Rain starts splashing down on the windshield and lightning cracks across the sky. Another pause follows.

This time Tom breaks the silence: "Did you hear the one about the guy on the tightrope?"

Navidson grins: "I'm glad to see some things never change."

"Hey this one's true. There was this twenty-five year old guy walking a tightrope across a deep river gorge while half way across the world another twenty-five year old guy was getting a blow job from a seventy year old woman, but get this, at the exact same moment both men were thinking the exact same thought. You know what it was?"

"No clue."
Tom gives his brother a wink.
"Don't look down."


-House of Leaves